GSYC

The Board also voted to charge him a tab and a guest fee...The guest fee because he is "utilizing" our facilities.

Hey - did anyone notice that someone is using

white-out on Lowell's blue boat cover?

I actually witnessed the seagulls go up in formation and take target practice on his boat.

Maybe we should also charge them dues because they are having so much fun.

"A series of days in the Life of the Commodore"

Part whatever

When I left you last it was 2 Sunday's ago and I had just met with the "ka-ching" plumbers.

(I'm almost sure that was the name on their card)

Everyone was having a great time at the pool when I noticed a group of past Commodores attempting to fly our new, huge American flag which had wrapped itself around the pole. They looked like a 3 Stooges comedy routine. The "guys" were extremely funny - j ust like they are at board meetings!

And, Joy Stone kept asking "How many PCs does it take to fix a flag?" No punchline could be found that was appropriate or even clean.

Bottom line, the Past Commodores couldn't do it.

(you probably have guessed that I'm still p----d at them for making me pay Past Commodore dues)

As I was leaving, Phil asked me to leave the pool gate open as he and Don Buck planned to come up on Monday to fix the flag. This they did and I'm not sure if they took the pole down or shimmied up it (the thought is too funny) and I really don't want to know....

Ok now let's go to Monday.

The club was closed and so was I.... Until I received a call that said " We need to get Frank's Coil Service to check out the brown water" Answer.."Thanks Steve. Ok, set it up. But set it up for Wednesday as the ladies have their luncheon on Tuesday and we can't have Frank's shutting down the water AND toilets to clean the coils. "The ladies won't notice the brown water but they will notice no toilets."

Tuesday. Late afternoon I get up to the club to set up for bridge. 20 of the ladies are playing in the bar room. I walk in and in unison, they say "We have brown water." I had to think fast so I took a page from Hank's book and answered

"SO!!"

It didn't work.

Wednesday. early morning. A call from Steve.."Where are you?" "I'm on Rte 80 & will be there in 15 minutes." Steve.."OK..when you get here give the guy your credit card. I have to leave and he won't do the work until he gets paid."

KAA-CHING..KAA-CHING

I then get a call on my cell from the entertainment company that had booked the steel band for us. (Steve Berger gave them my phone #)

"Mr. Karpas, we need your credit card so the band can get paid before they show up."

KAAA-CHING

This friggen cash register is doing a tattoo on me.

Wednesday

Frank's coil service spends the day cleaning the coils in the furnace and hot water tanks.

Fantastic!

Thursday. early morning. I get up to the club and the first thing I do is put on the hot water. My next call is to Steve (who is out of town).

"Steve!! the f---ing hot water looks like coffee it's so dark" Steve pulls a Hank!! "SO!!" (I really hate that)

"Call them"

I call Frank's. They are now sending another technician who really knows about this crap.

(Why they didn't send him in the first place I don't know but they had my credit card # so I didn't push it.)

An expert technician..here goes that KA-CHING again. I can't wait for this technician, so I put Matt the life guard in charge of the club. (No one else was there) "Matt, when this guy shows, call me on my cell and then lock the doors until I tell you it's ok to let him out."

The expert shows up and calls me. Here is the problem. We have a serious iron buildup in our holding tanks. He will come early the next morning, which is Friday, shut off the water, then put a chemical into the system which will dissolve the iron. Then he will come back and he will put the water back on. He will then turn on all the faucets in the clubhouse and let the water run for 2 hours to flush out the chemical. Now, this is what goes through my mind: no one will be in the clubhouse when he turns on all of the faucets and leaves with the water running. 21 years ago we had a fire, now we will have a flood. I put Don Beck's number into my phone.

My next call was to our caterer Rick. "Rick can you cook without water?" Rick's response..."HUH!!"

I explain the situation to Rick. I give him plan B. If the water is not on in the kitchen, he can go to the cottage and use the water there. The water is good, it's just toxic to be in the cottage. Rick's response was "I don't think you like me!"

I also received a message from Mark Gruber to remind me that I needed to bring a check for Dr. Rosen, the sexologist, Friday night. KA-CHING...Now I'm thinking why do we need a sexologist when we really need a friggen plumber?

Friday

Well, Steve gets back from his golf and gets to the club around 1PM. The system is back and everything is clean. How did this happen? Well, it turns out that our water softener has not been working. We have another technician coming this Wednesday to find out why and fix it. This will prevent the iron buildup and it will be another

KAAA-CHING

Will catch you up on "a weekend in the Life of the Commodore" at a later date.

Alan Karpas

Commodore